Is Henry Cejudo Really Rafael Dos Anjos’ Kid?

Henry Cejudo is an Olympic gold medalist. Henry Cejudo is the #2 ranked fighter in the UFC’s flyweight division. Henry Cejudo is scheduled to fight Demetrius Johnson for the championship this weekend at UFC 197. But is he all he says he is? Born in Los Angeles, California? Born in 1987? Fighting out of Phoenix, Arizona? But is he?

A shocking image emerged following Rafael dos Anjos’ (Portuguese for double anus) upset victory over Anthony Pettis to claim the UFC’s lightweight title. When dos Anjos’ family entered the Octagon to witness their father be badgered by Joe Rogan in his second language, it caught our attention that his youngest son, Gustavo, is no other than Henry Cejudo! That’s right, folks. You heard it here! Continue reading “Is Henry Cejudo Really Rafael Dos Anjos’ Kid?”

Conor McGregor Retires; Satanism Key Factor

Conor McGregor retired from MMA on Tuesday with the Tweet Heard ‘Round the World. The cryptic 140 character message left many people questioning its meaning. Was it a power play or a negotiation tool? Was he strongly affected by the recent death of Brazilian fighter Joao Carvalho at a Dublin MMA event he attended? Is he afraid of his rematch with Nate Diaz at UFC 200 or, more sinisterly, a pending drug test? Is he on MMAeth? The MMA-osphere was sent reeling, scouring for clues and answers.

A Cage Burn exclusive blows the cover on the otherwise unrevealed motivation behind the surprise retirement. What we’re about to reveal may shock sensibilities and conventional mores. McGregor is not afraid for his health, his career, his pay check or anything else. McGregor is, beholden to Satan!

There is no Dee Devlin. ‘Dee Devlin’ is in fact, an anagram for Need Devil.

McGregor needs the devil. So if you are searching for reason in his actions search no further.

Continue reading “Conor McGregor Retires; Satanism Key Factor”

Feeling So Alive: P.O.D. Usage in MMA

It seems like every other day a new fighter is going down for ‘performance enhancement’. Yoel Romero, Frank Mir, Lyoto Machida and that Russian Guy from the Tampa card on the weekend are the most recent examples.

It’s no surprise that elite athletes might seek a competitive advantage. They compete under a business model that only pays them when they compete and pays them double when they win. But whether the fighter blames roided-out kangaroo meat or supplemental taints, it is obvious that we are facing a crisis.

Rumours are everywhere. They start out as whispers. Turn into a chorus. Before long, people begin to beat the drums, screaming in rage at the injustices in front of them.

The athletes in our sport are jacked to the gills in an attempt to gain an edge. And what they’re jacked on… P.O.D.s.

Continue reading “Feeling So Alive: P.O.D. Usage in MMA”

BREAKING: Nurmagedomev replacement for Ferguson revealed

The world of MMA was in despair today as Russian virtuoso Khabib Abdulmanapovich Nurmagomedov once more had his competitive aspirations dragged into uncertainty. The world-renowned hardman, famous for wrestling actual BEARS as a child, has had a hard run of it with injury after injury over the past few years. This time, however, it’s not Nurmy…it’s his opponent, Tony Ferguson. Forced to withdraw from his … Continue reading BREAKING: Nurmagedomev replacement for Ferguson revealed

First Stitch, Now Ariel… Who’s Next?

News emerged late last week that Fox Sports would be cutting ties with award-winning MMA reporter Ariel Helwani. When the news was first leaked, rumours began to circulate. While MMA fans are still in the dark as to the true motives for the separation, Cage Burn has done some digging around and what we’ve found is scary:

The UFC is targeting and purging all of Disney from the organisation.

Continue reading “First Stitch, Now Ariel… Who’s Next?”

Jon Jones Arrest Revealed as Hoax

In a shocking turn of events, this morning’s reported arrest of former UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Jon Jones has been revealed as a hoax.

UFC brass are currently investigating brash calls from current UFC Light Heavyweight ‘Champion’ Daniel Cormier to once again strip Jon Jones of his title. Allegedly, when an unidentifiable bald white man in a suit pointed out that Cormier was still kinda sorta considered the champ, DC apparently got very shifty-eyed and started stuttering that he was always the champ, always would be the champ, and didn’t need special treatment just because he had a clinical addiction to Reese’s Peanutbutter Cups.

Continue reading “Jon Jones Arrest Revealed as Hoax”

Exclusive: Secret Ken Shamrock Training Video Unearthed

Follow @CageBurnMMA Following the recent announcement that Ken Shamrock failed his pre-fight drug test prior to Bellator 149, numerous questions were raised. If Ken Shamrock looked so poor in this outing, what aspect of his performance was enhanced? Does Ken Shamrock even train MMA nowadays? What game plan did he have going into his bout with Royce Gracie? Through unnamed sources and diligent due diligence, Cage … Continue reading Exclusive: Secret Ken Shamrock Training Video Unearthed