Daniel Cormier to Miss UFC 197 with Injured Sense of Justice

Just as opponent Jon Jones was being released from jail for violating his parole, it is now being revealed that Daniel Cormier, Light Heavyweight Champion of the UFC, will be forced to miss their impending title bout at UFC 197. The two fighters have shared barbs and insults over the years, with a genuine animosity appearing to exist between the two.

Bumps and bruises are common in our favoured form of fisticuffs. Fighters frequently enter the octagon (or eight-sided caged shaped fighting surface if you don’t own the copyright to the name of the shape) hurt, as entering the cage is the only way to get paid. But Cormier has suffered an injury that knows no recovery time, one that knows no limits to the pain it can cause a person.

Cormier will miss UFC 197 with an injured sense of justice.

Cormier Sad
Unlike an eye injury, a sense of justice, once injured, has no timetable for recovery.

The sense of justice is one of the more fickle body parts. The amount of wear and tear it can endure is unique to each individual. Accordingly, there are really no timetables for recovery from an injury like this.

Jones, despite pissing in the open mouth of every second chance given to him, was released from an Albuquerque jailhouse earlier this week with another, albeit slightly firmer, slap on the wrist. Jones’ driving record includes crashing his car while driving under the influence, leaving the scene of an accident in which he crashed into a vehicle driven by a pregnant woman, going 75 mph in a 35 mph zone while failing to have his license and registration on him and, most recently, for drag racing and calling the police officer who pulled him over a liar and a pig.

Jones was put on probation following the hit-and-run. The incident saw him flee the scene, then reportedly come back shortly after to collect ‘fistfuls of cash’ before taking off again. In the car were drug paraphernalia, condoms and, a bag of Funyuns. It was only on 23 March that Jones was in court for the speeding and paperwork violation which saw a medium-to-heavy slap on the wrist administered.

The most recent incident, at first believed to be some sort of hoax building to April Fool’s, was bizarrely enough, reported to the media by Jones himself. Speaking to intrepid reporter Ariel Helwani, who himself was recently in the news, Jones let the medium-sized African cat out of the bag. He admits to revving his engine, but insists he was not drag racing. After spending, two nights in custody, Jones received what judiciary commentators labelled ‘as heavy a slap on the wrist’ as one could get. Should further driving violations occur, the courts may have to turn to paddlin’.

Cormier Imma Let
Unlike an eye injury, a sense of justice, once injured, has no timetable for recovery.

Cormier was reportedly outraged. First Jones gets off with yet another warning, then, the post about Cormier here on Cage Burn gets hijacked by Jones’ hijinks. But this isn’t Cormier’s first brush with a sense of justice injury.

You will all remember Cormier’s stunning performance in the All About that Cake  video. Most pundits and gambling sites alike had him pegged as the frontrunner for a VMA award. But fresh-faced starlet Taylor Swift took home the award, inspiring a disgruntled Cormier to storm the stage and utter his famous, “Imma let you finish…” diatribe that launched 1000 memes.

 

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