Burn the Books – UFC Fight Night: Rothwell vs dos Santos

Burn the Books is a recurring segment here at Cage Burn. Before every major event, and many of the minor ones, we will break down some of the best betting lines and give you our expert gambling advice. This week we look at UFC Fight Night: Rothwell vs dos Santos. Check out the previous edition of Burn the Books.

Times the phrase “where the fuck is zagreb” is typed into Google in the middle of the night: 30,000 over/under

This is a no-brainer. Bet the over! We fight fans are not the sharpest knives in the Monkey Fight. The smartest amongst us have read on the internet that Game of Thrones is set in Croatia, but few of us expect to see that many naked people in The Zagreb. But MMA is nothing if not educational, so Google on.  Continue reading “Burn the Books – UFC Fight Night: Rothwell vs dos Santos”

Jared ‘Tha Killa Gorilla’ Cannonier vs Cyril ‘Silverback’ Asker: Controversial ‘Freakshow’ Bout To Take Place At UFC Fight Night 86 – Rothwell vs. Dos Santos

In a wild bid to compete with Bellator’s recent outrageous match making, UFC fight starter Joe Silva has allegedly ‘crossed the line’, according to a source in the upper echelons of the Nevada State Athletic Commission who wished to remain anonymous.

Initially slated to appear on the promotions’s marquee second centenary event on July 9th, a ‘freakshow’ bout between Jared ‘Tha Killa Gorilla’ Cannonier and Cyril ‘Silverback’ Asker has been hurried forward to this Sunday 10 April’s UFC Fight Night in Zagreb, Croatia.

Both heavyweights have identical 7-1 records. One hails from Dallas, Texas…the other from Avignon, France.

With Cannonier coming off his first career loss to Shawn Jordan at UFC 182 Jones vs Cormier, he’ll be keen to avenge the loss – especially given his perfect prior record and five first round stoppages before a disappointing debut for the world’s premier promotion.

On the other hand, Asker will be out for blood. The Frenchman comes into his first UFC match-up off the back of a five fight winning streak, not having tasted defeat since 2013.

While most fight fans would already consider this scrap to hold great potential showcase value for both prospects, apparently the UFC had other ideas. Forced to go elsewhere with their ‘bloodthirsty madness’ (as Aaaron Nonny-Mouse of the NSAC termed it), the controversial decision was made to situate the first ever UFC Knife Fight in the Eastern European nation known primarily for gorgeous women, internecine warfare and football violence.

With the fighter’s nicknames allegedly inspiring comparisons to monkey knife fights, Tha Killa Gorilla will face The Silverback over 3 x 5 minute rounds with a 12” bowie knife. Specially crafted weapons have been commissioned to fit snugly in the regulation 4-ounce gloves, and a $50K “Throat Slash Of The Night” bonus is potentially up for grabs.

Cage Fight MMA reached out to both men’s fight camps for comment; while Cannonier’s Gracie Barra team in Anchorage declined to comment, a training partner of Asker’s brought in especially to prefer for the unorthodox bout had the following to say:

“Oooh ooh ooh, ah ah aaaaah…EEE!! EEE!! EEEEE!!!”. A translator hired for the Skype call commented “’e eez a cheeky leettle monkey man. Voulez vous un banana, mon petit ami?”. Wild shrieks were heard and the screen went blank.

Whatever your opinion on the state of the world and it’s continuing slide into a dystopian wasteland orientated only to the whims of our capitalist overlords, one thing is sure…on Sunday night in Zagreb, there WILL be blood.