USA Republican Presidential Candidate’s Unexpected MMA Dream

45-year-old Republican candidate Ted Cruz has dropped out of the presidential race in order to devote more time to his MMA training.

Citing a disillusionment with politics, sources close to Cruz said that he was sick of  enacting mere proxy violence on disadvantaged members of North American society and instead wanted to “really, actually hurt some poor people…like, by hand?”.

The consumate Thai stylist dropped the news with a textbook side elbow to the face of wife Heidi; all of his us here at Cageburn MMA wish him the best in following the footsteps of cousin Dominic…by amassing as many career-threatening injuries as possible.



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