Bellator Announces Signing of New Welterweight: Gregory McConnors

The recent competition between MMA’s two premier promotions to scoop up all available talent has heated up to lava-level proportions. Bellator and President Scott Coker have had a run of success signing big name free agents. Now you can add another to the list.

Today Bellator (which is Italian for beautiful tor) announced the signing of up and coming free agent Gregory McConnors. The outstanding prospect is slated to fight the winner of this weekend’s Benson Henderson vs Russian Guy bout for the promotion’s welterweight title.

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Exclusive: Secret Ken Shamrock Training Video Unearthed

Following the recent announcement that Ken Shamrock failed his pre-fight drug test prior to Bellator 149, numerous questions were raised. If Ken Shamrock looked so poor in this outing, what aspect of his performance was enhanced? Does Ken Shamrock even train MMA nowadays? What game plan did he have going into his bout with Royce Gracie?

Through unnamed sources and diligent due diligence, Cage Burn was able to answer some of these lingering concerns. Crucially, we’ve uncovered a secret training video of MMA’s elder statesman preparing for the Gracie fight. Note the flop and groin clutch displayed in the video, so expertly implemented during the February tussle.

Is Ken refilling his sippy cup from the ‘Fountain of Youth?’ Wink, wink. Nod, nod. We don’t know, we don’t have cups of his pee. But looking at how old he looks in the training video and how shredded he looks clutching his nuts below, Shamrock has some explaining to do.

Shamrock Dude, My Nuts

Matt Mitrione Signs With Bellator; Can Now Afford Shoes

Some fighters claim to be hungry. Not literally, in the sense of being poor and needing more food. They mean it metaphorically, as in, hungry for success. But no matter how hungry you are, you can’t eat success and / or championship belts. Yet a bit of success on the canvas may well put (actual) food on the table – or on your feet.

One fighter was so poor while fighting for the UFC that he could not even afford shoes. His name is Matt Mitrione and his shoeless days are over.

Following the expiry of his contract with the UFC, Mitrione signed on with rival promotion Bellator (Italian for beautiful tor). His new promotion’s mouthpiece, Scott Coker, has promised him all the shoes he could eat.

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Dada 5000 Returns to the Ranks of the Undefeated

Many MMA fighters have losses. A list of combatants with losses reads like a who’s who of the sport. Dada 5000, no relation to Powerman 5000, is not one of them.

Anderson Silva and Fedor Emelianenko both lost to Father Time. Jon Jones lost to the rulebook, and later, some funyuns. Georges St Pierre lost to a Level 3 Fire Dwarf wielding an overhand right with +10 damage. Dada 5000 loses to no man.

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