Chris Weidman Attributes Win Over Kelvin Gastelum to Cannabis Use

In a Cageburn exclusive, former UFC Middleweight Champion Chris Weidman has attributed his choke-out win over Kelvin Gastelum at #UFCLongIsland to his opponent’s “indescriminate and frankly dizzzope” use of marijuana. Prior to Weidman’s theft of Gastelum’s swag, the 25-year-old was observed smoking three joints in his dressing room, allowing him to adopt an exceptionally relaxed demeanour in the fight’s early rounds. Nevertheless, Weidman successfully navigated the mental hedgemaze of ganja to break a three-fight losing streak and bring home the W in the third round.

Continue reading “Chris Weidman Attributes Win Over Kelvin Gastelum to Cannabis Use”

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New York Moving Into 21st Century; Legalising People Attacking Each Other in Cages For Money

New York has taken its first step towards descending into a dystopian hellscape, by beginning the process to legalise MMA in the state. The Empire State is the last in The Union to uphold a ban on the sport, a spectacle of human cockfighting that sickens us all.

Opponents of the ‘Sick Science’ (as we call it here at Cage Burn) have argued that violence begets violence. As it stands now, people in New York are relegated to attacking each other in poorly lit streets, abandoned housing projects, or most dangerously, by crossing the Hudson River to attack each other in cages in nearby New Jersey.

Continue reading “New York Moving Into 21st Century; Legalising People Attacking Each Other in Cages For Money”