In a shocking turn of events, this morning’s reported arrest of former UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Jon Jones has been revealed as a hoax.
UFC brass are currently investigating brash calls from current UFC Light Heavyweight ‘Champion’ Daniel Cormier to once again strip Jon Jones of his title. Allegedly, when an unidentifiable bald white man in a suit pointed out that Cormier was still kinda sorta considered the champ, DC apparently got very shifty-eyed and started stuttering that he was always the champ, always would be the champ, and didn’t need special treatment just because he had a clinical addiction to Reese’s Peanutbutter Cups.
Using semi-sophisticated VPN technology and a pair of Groucho Marx glasses, Daniel Cormier reportedly donned a police uniform before putting through a Skype call to UFC HQ in Las Vegas, Nevada. He is said to have adopted an effete, high-pitched British accent before attempting to inform an unidentifiable bald white man in a suit that Jon Jones had been arrested for dressing up in drag and would now not be allowed to fight in the pair’s bout scheduled for April 23. When confronted that he was obviously Daniel Cormier wearing a fancy dress pretend police uniform, DC was said to start acting like a spoilt little girl before hanging up the call.
Jon Jones was unavailable for comment but a source close to the 28-year-old prodigy said that when told of the incident he simply snorted three more lines, grinned and continued to ignore his three children who were sobbing, terrified, in the corner of the room.