Chris Weidman Attributes Win Over Kelvin Gastelum to Cannabis Use

In a Cageburn exclusive, former UFC Middleweight Champion Chris Weidman has attributed his choke-out win over Kelvin Gastelum at #UFCLongIsland to his opponent’s “indescriminate and frankly dizzzope” use of marijuana. Prior to Weidman’s theft of Gastelum’s swag, the 25-year-old was observed smoking three joints in his dressing room, allowing him to adopt an exceptionally relaxed demeanour in the fight’s early rounds. Nevertheless, Weidman successfully navigated the mental hedgemaze of ganja to break a three-fight losing streak and bring home the W in the third round.

“More like Kelvin GRASStellum” giggled the New Yorker backstage as his vanquished opponent buried his head in post-fight bong rips before our interview was cut short when a $200 UberEATS Maccie D’s order arrived.

Coming just three months after Grasstelum’s fight against a little old man was pulled due to ultimate ganja tokeage, reports that UFC head honcho Dana White nixed Grasstelum’s requests to walk out to Cypress Hill’s Hits From The Bong remain unsubstantiated. Nevertheless, even in the face of defeat, it’s encouraging to see the man from Arizona stay ready…TO GET HIIIIIGH.



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