Faces of MMAeth – Paddy Holohan

It is with great sadness that we at Cage Burn today wave goodbye to a legendary Irish pioneer in the arena of no-holds-barred unarmed combat with an honourary posting to the halls of MMAeth.

Paddy Holohan has just announced his retirement and – all joking aside – this sudden and unexpected news has robbed the MMA community of a unique and inspirational figure.

Paddy ‘The Hooligan’ Holohan has proven to be an immense source of pride to the youth of Tallaght, precisely because of how he sidestepped the allure of heroin – at epidemic levels in the West Dublin suburb – to find success in Mixed Martial Arts.

‘The Hooligan’ is a particularly noteworthy figure amongst the Faces of MAAeth primarily because he so ably demonstrates that, no matter what your background, social strata or reasons for retiring…that if you truly embrace the MMAeth lifestyle…you will eventually reach a point at which no-one can even tell whether or not you are actually on the MAAeth.

Respect to the man – Insha’Allah, your future endeavours will be a huge success.

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Faces of MMAeth – Diego Brandao

Poor old Diego’s on a bit of a downward spiral. After a widely publicised loss to a fellow MMAeth abuser he got back into the wins column for a couple of bouts, even netting a Performance of the Night bonus vs Katsunori Kikuno with a TKO in Japan.

However, after testing positive for Marijuana following a triangle choke loss after a spirited contest vs Brian Ortega at UFC 195 back in January, the Brazilian wax merchant has been on the slippery slope to skid row.

As reported by MMAjunkie, “Early this past Thursday morning, Brandao allegedly fought three employees at the downtown Albuquerque club Knockouts before returning to brandish a gun, according to an arrest warrant obtained today”.

In an official UFC statement, the organisation claimed to be “concerned by the nature of the reported allegations” but refused to comment on further allegations that the 28-year-old Jackson-Wink fighter had started the fight due to the DJ’s refusal to play Danish eurodance group Aqua’s breakthrough 1997 hit ‘Barbie Girl’.

A teammate of Brandao’s at Jackson-Wink did, however, confirm that the Albuquerque-based UFC fighter had a penchant for ‘motor boating’ strippers to said pop song.  Diego is well-liked at the world-class training facility, where he is also much admired for his skill in ‘helicoptering’ his penis whilst singing the lyrics to ‘Barbie Girl‘ at the top of his voice in the changing rooms.

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Faces of MMAeth – Tony Ferguson

Tony Ferguson goes by “El Cucuy” as a fighter, which is simply Spanish for “the boogeyman.” After recently pulling out of a scheduled fight with Khabib Nurmagomedov in a bout most assumed would determine the next challenger for the lightweight title questions began to be asked. Is Ferguson facing a boogeyman of his own?

Looking at the image above, a stark contrast can be seen. A healthy, smiling Tony on the left compared to a gaunt, ashamed Tony on the right. Sure, a suitable replacement was found for Nurmy, but the composition of a fight card is not our big concern. Ferguson’s excuse for pulling out? Blood in his lung.

MMAeth is a scourge that threatens us all. Have young addicts moved from simply snorting and smoking it to injecting it directly into their lungs to maximise the high? If so, heaven help us.

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Faces of MMAeth – Jon Jones

Jonathan “Bones” Jones, one of the greatest fighters of all-time, is not even impervious to MMAeth’s pervasive grasp. On top of the world at one moment, in the depths of addiction the next, the former UFC Light Heavyweight champion nearly lost it all while battling his demons.

How can you tell if a friend or fighter close to you is struggling? Erratic behaviour, running from hit-and-runs with fistfuls of cash and purchasing oversized African cats are key indicators. Two nights in jail may have quenched his thirst, but until then we hope Jon gets his life in order.

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Faces of MMAeth – Conor McGregor

The Notorious One was allegedly spotted walking around Dublin’s Abbey Street asking for “a Euro for the bus” before his bout with Diego Brandao on 19 July 2014. It seems this brush with MMAeth was enough of a scare for the svelt Crumlin man; he has since moved up to the Light Heavyweight division and is rumoured to be taking on the forces of Heaven at 205lb after he loses (again) to Stockton’s Finest at UFC 200 on July 9 2016.

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