Cage Burn Salutes the UFC for Giving us 4 More Months of Touch Butt

On Friday, it was reported that Conor McGregor would face Nate Diaz once again, this time at UFC 200. With the highest profile fighters in the sport more popular than ever, the event will be a landmark on the MMA landscape and is expected to be stacked, top to bottom. While an entire fight card full of stars may stir the imaginations of both hardcore and softcore fans alike, what gets us up in the morning is touch butt.

We here at Cage Burn salute the UFC for giving us four more months of touch butt. Whether touch butt takes place in the park with dorks, or in the privacy of one’s home, is not important. What’s important is that it is talked about, endlessly, from now until July.

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Cage Burn Salutes: Stockton

First there were the Vandals, who famously sacked Rome. Next came the Mongols, maurauding out of East-Central Asia to enslave half the world. And then there was the 209, wreaking havoc in Vegas and bringing UFC200 down in flames.

Today, we at Cage Burn salute the City of Stockton, California, for producing more hard men than a breakaway Russian Republic. We don’t know how they do it. They don’t have bears to wrestle. There are no mountains were people can chop wood. There are no Ivan Dragos.

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