Burn the Books: UFC 197

Burn the Books is a recurring segment here at Cage Burn. Before every major event, and many of the minor ones, we will break down some of the best betting lines and give you our expert gambling advice. This week we look at UFC 197, an event featuring arguably the two best pound for pound fighters in the world. Marred by the abrupt withdrawal of Daniel Cormier, the card still packs some power with names and quality match-ups from top to bottom. Enjoy!

Conor McGregor flies into the arena a la ‘Fanman’ to drop a turd in the centre of the Octagon™: +800

Don’t believe the hype on this prop bet. Sure, McGregor might take to fancy parachuting, and he might fly into the MGM Grand Garden Arena and he might drop a turd… but that turd will not be directed at the centre of The Octagon™ my friend.

 

UFC 197 Unhinged
Sometimes my mom calls and asks me what I’ve been up to in my life.

Jon Jones will unhinge his jaw and devour at least one of the flyweights: +430

 

Last weekend Khabib Nurmagomedov referred to himself in the third person as “The Eagle” and claimed he needed to eat after 2 years off. While Jones has only been out of action for a bit over a year, he rips bongs and eats funyuns, so you know he’s hungry. Flyweights are some of the most vulnerable fighters in the MMA ecosystem and, when faced by a larger predator, are frequently overmatched.

 

Jon Jones will crash into a pregnant woman while running into The Octagon™: +380

Free money. We simply need a pregnant woman to be in the vicinity. Luckily, one of the writers here at Cage Burn happens to have a bun in the missus’ oven. We’re not trying to cook the books, but you can rent her for a cut of your winnings.

 

White Dana Buchman Blouse
Google Image search Dana White and this white Dana Buchman blouse comes up. Usually I’d photoshop Dana’s head on it with some Thug Life glasses on or something equally as awesome, but you’ll have to use your imagination.

Times Dana White will not-so-cryptically refer to Benson Henderson getting his ass whooped last night without saying his name: 4 over / under

 

Take the under here. Usually, Dana would be all over this. He’d talk about Anthony Pettis beating Bendo twice, then make sure you were aware Pettis is the #5 lightweight in the UFC. But, with much bigger fish to fry than dragging a former promotional champion through the mud (like, say, dragging a current champ through the mud), Dana may uncharacteristically let this opportunity to be petty and vindictive go by the wayside.

Conor McGregor’s maniacal laughter will fill the MGM Grand Garden Arena all the way from Iceland: -140

This bet really depends on whether you look at this from a metaphorical or literal perspective. Metaphorically, his laughter haunts Dana’s dream and will linger over the event like stink lines coming off of a cartoon hobo. But literally? I don’t know if that’s possible. Iceland is cold, and everyone knows that maniacal laughter travels well through denser, colder air. But once it reaches the milder climes of the American Southwest, there’s no telling where his laughter will end up.

 

RDA and Fam
The dA family with Henry in the forefront.

Rafael dos Anjos will finally claim Henry Cejudo as his youngest child: +550

 

RDA likes winners. If Cejudo can win the belt, it’s likely that he’ll finally end the rampant speculation and claim him as his son. But with Cejudo a prohibitive underdog, the chances of this taking place are long. If you think Cejudo has what it takes, you might as well make this an accumulator and clean up.

If you’d like to read the previous editions of Burn the Books…

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s