Bellator Announces Signing of New Welterweight: Gregory McConnors

The recent competition between MMA’s two premier promotions to scoop up all available talent has heated up to lava-level proportions. Bellator and President Scott Coker have had a run of success signing big name free agents. Now you can add another to the list.

Today Bellator (which is Italian for beautiful tor) announced the signing of up and coming free agent Gregory McConnors. The outstanding prospect is slated to fight the winner of this weekend’s Benson Henderson vs Russian Guy bout for the promotion’s welterweight title.

Though little is known about the recent free agent’s path to where he is today, some grainy footage found on YouTube shows a young McConnors fighting without his trademark glasses and looking sleek at the lighter weight classes. It’s surprising nobody has heard of him.

When asked about McConnors’ backstory, Coker stated, “We don’t ask about that stuff. History, medical checks, contract status, are you addicted to opiates? Ha! Talk to the pencil pushers at the UFC. Besides, we’re opening up our new headquarters in International Waters off the coast of Panama.” He then left the press conference on a rope ladder hanging from a helicopter while cradling a hairless cat in his spare hand. Wads of cash could be seen floating down from his overstuffed pockets.

McConnors was equally as evasive, claiming to be a ragtag plumber from Dublin, California. Though his accent seemed clearly non-Californian (perhaps Wisconsin?), we’re inclined to give a fresh face the benefit of the doubt. Fair play to him.

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