“Dana Afraid to Really Travel Back in Time”: Scott Coker

As of late, it has become the en vogue thing for MMA matchmakers to reach into yesteryear and dust off some oldies but goodies in an attempt to rekindle some of the sport’s pre-saturation lustre. This weekend’s UFC on Fox 19 card from Tampa, Florida does just that, featuring a main event of Glover Teixeira vs Rashad Evans and a co-main event of Lyoto Machida vs Dan Henderson.

But according to Bellator’s Scott Coker, Dana White is afraid to really crank up the Delorean and take the sport for a ride back in time.

“This coming card looks more like something out of 2009,” claims Coker. “I’ve just rehashed UFC 1, for fuck’s sake. Seriously, talk to me when you book Jean-Claude Van Damme vs Tank Abbott for the 1996 Interim Title.”

Rashad-Evans-lyoto-ko
Rashad Evans in his prime.

In 2009, Machida knocked out Evans for the UFC’s coveted Light Heavyweight title, while Henderson was featured prominently on the promotion’s increasingly-bland The Ultimate Fighter franchise. Teixeira? He was doing those ads for The Pit Workout featured on every UFC DVD (which we would link to but seem to have been mysteriously eradicated from the internet) along with prominent Xyience advertising and product placement.

Not to be outdone, White, always a ratings-hound and tailing Coker’s leads as of late, has promised to put on a card that really travels back in history. He’s threatened to take Nick the Tooth and Matt Serra on a journey throughout space and time to collect a menagerie of fighters and pit them against each other for the unanimously, though somewhat unfairly, panned UFC 200 card.

Potential fighters to be brought ‘Back to the Future’ include, Gentleman Jim Corbett, Jake LaMotta, Art ‘One Glove’ Jimmerson, Drederick Tatum, Ivan Drago, Soda Popinski, Jackie Chan, Kimo, Kimbo, Brock Lesnar, Tito Ortiz’s ghost and that kid from grade 8 who tripped that Cambodian kid and got a switchblade pulled on him.

Artist Rendition of Future BTTF
An artist’s rendition of what a potential future might look like. See more of his work here. Edgar puts pixelated sunglasses, joints and Doritos bags on a wide variety of images.

 

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