Je Suis Diaz – Stockton’s Proudest Son Granted Recognition by Nevada State Athletic Commission

In the aftermath of last weekend’s incredible events which saw UFC fighter and touchbutt brownbelt Conor McGregor unceremoniously merked by Stockton’s Nate Diaz, supporters of the newly crowned unofficial UFC Featherweight Champ and pound-for-pound kushlord stood for a ceremonial one minute flip-the-bird in the general direction of Ireland today at exactly 16.20 Pacific Standard Time.

In a stunningly apt display of ganjacity, a representative of the Nevada State Athletic Commission subsequently announced a medical suspension for the esteemed boxer and Jiu-Jitsu blackbelt which is to stand until April 20th and which has unofficially been claimed as a something of a reward for the lifetime cannabis afficonado.

“Yeah brah, his ‘eyebrow’ has to heal” winked the NSAC rep, meanwhile grinning and mimicking holding a fat doobie to his lips. He would neither confirm not deny that this was, in part, an admission that the NSAC were sorry for being total dicks about Nate’s brother Nick and his much-publicized suspension, recently renegotiated.


A teammate of Diaz has gone on-the-record to claim “209 + 4/20 = STOCKTON, bitches”, a statement which was confirmed with a sagely nod and a suggestive “mmmmm hmmmm” by a representative from the California bad boy’s management team at VFD Marketing.

A bonglit vigil to support the athlete has been set worldwide under the banner of Je Suis Stockton. It will take place at 2:09pm PST on April 20 2016 and continue until everyone is beyond monged, to mark the return of Nathan Donald “Nate” Diaz to competition.

Meanwhile, the next six weeks will see fierce contention between Nathan and brother Nicholas as to who will be crowned P4P king of the bongwater division.


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